"I have an Excoriation Disorder"

During my 8th year of existence, I began a rare form of self harm called skin picking, otherwise known as excoriation disorder. Around 2-5% of the population have this disorder, and it's most common between the ages of 13-15. I could never initially pinpoint exactly why I did this. I certainly never knew how to stop, either. My parents spent money on dressings and treatments, but I couldn't seem to stop. I have continued to do this right up until now, but I'm slowly realizing things about it. I now know it gets worse when I am anxious or upset. I know that it is worse when I am at home for prolonged periods of time. I have been mentally and emotionally abused by my mother since birth. She never helps me to feel good about myself, and targets my flaws. Due to this, I always feel like that, if I am already ugly and a bad person, then I may as well continue to pick at my skin. If I could stop, I would. I would give anything to rewrite the past 7 years, and take my disorder out of it, but I can't and I am working towards healing myself.