My life has been a series of twists and turns, and as a whole has been affected by a lot of obstacles. I started to notice around elementary school that I got a lot more "nervous" for things than my peers, and school was always a bit more stressful. My parents divorced and my world didn't seem to stop, but things immediately began to spiral. I would panic about having to pack in between houses and worry that something would go wrong once I got there, but it wasn't until around middle school that I began noticing my lack of interest in things I'd once loved. I quit the swim team, which used to be my favorite part of every day. My grades plummeted and my motivation to get anything done was barely there. I was afraid to express any of this with the fear that my parents would think something was wrong with me, so I kept it under wraps for a while. But around 8th grade, I got involved in a bad crowd of some older guys I met. My best friend and I started drinking, smoking, and partying at such a young age. The affect of that was massive on the next couple of years, as I was diagnosed with depression and severe anxiety disorders my freshman year. I turned to alcohol and drugs to try and fix my problems, because my psychiatrist thought that my problems could've been female hormones, and not much was done. The real turning point in that year though, was thanksgiving break. I attended a small party with some people I considered my closest friends, and was slipped something by the guy I'd been talking to at the time, and sexually assaulted. I kept this a secret for months, and didn't let anyone see how much it affected me, but my PTSD still hasn't slowed. Around the end of the year, I made the decision to end it all, and ended up in the hospital. I spent some time at a safe place, working on my recovery, and knew my life needed to change. I've been sober since then, and have reached out for help when I know I need it. I knew I couldn't rush my healing, and I still can't. Things are still hard sometimes but my life has color again, and becoming sober was the best decision I ever made. Next year I'm planning to be homeschooled and work on myself and my wellbeing, but I know none of this is the end of my world, and I'm strong enough to come out the other end of the dark tunnel I seem to be in.
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