TW: Mentions of self-harm, suicidal thoughts/attempts, sexual assault, and bullying
My initials are not CJ. I will not share my name, my location, or my appearance. I am thirteen years old, and the only thing I allow myself to share is my story. If you find your way to this post know you are not alone and you are never too far gone. I was born into a broken home. My parents fought- everybody does really- but their fights were different. Trackers in my moms bags, tears on her pillow, and her feet dragged when she walked.
My parents ended up divorced [a year and a half after] which was probably for my benefit. Then my dad took me for a while. Apparently that was somewhat illegal and I didn’t see him until I turned seven. I moved in with a nice older lady who I will call Lilac, because she loved those flowers more than life itself. I lived in a small red house a few miles from the beach and Lilac taught me about nature. She would let me “help” plant flowers and I would name them. I remember naming one and she used it to name her granddaughter, that was the first time I felt important.
I don’t have many nice words to describe my parents. My mother is obsessed with diet culture, smoking, and hating on people. My father is a businessman with little business. He is remarried and I have a stepbrother who I will not attempt to rename. My stepbrother and I used to hate each other, he never wanted a sister. My parents, my sibling, and everybody around me was dumb. I was a prodigy. you can blame the autism, you can blame my teachers, but for whatever reason, I was some sort of special. My parents didn’t make me feel special, they made me feel bad.
As I write this, I am sitting next to my mom after she called me mean. I had a neighbor who I used to be best friends with. She was a year older but immature for her age and we got along. I drifted apart from her last year. There are so many things I could mention right now, my addiction to self-harm, my suicidal thoughts or attempts, the multiple sexual assaults and bullying incidents from my past. I could mention my eating disorders and my sexuality, or the fact I’m trans but can’t tell a soul. But I am a popular girl, bet you didn’t expect that. I hang out with friends every day, spend money on overpriced leggings and my whole life revolves around social media.
On the odd chance you read this and recognize my story, say nothing. The scars on my wrist are fading now and they aren’t even visible anymore. You have no way of identifying me. Thank you for reading this. If you decide to take away anything from this story take away this: hug your friends. hug your family, tell them you love them. I am chronically ill, and I don’t know how much longer my heart will beat like this, I wish somebody would hug me.
story of depression, self harm, suicidality and survival
I was 13 years old when I got diagnosed with depression. The anxiety followed shortly after. During this time I would call myself nocturnal. I was on a strict sleep schedule of wake up at 6pm, eat “dinner” that was actually my breakfast, stay up all night, and once I heard my mom wake up at 7am I would go to sleep. My depression started getting worse and I eventually stopped going downstairs for those dinner meals, and soon I stopped leaving my bed all together. I started to feel so numb and to feel anything at all I started to self harm. I hated what I was doing and knew I should stop but I just wanted to feel anything again. After months of this happening I felt one single thing. The pain of my mom. I thought about how my mom would feel if she knew I was hurting myself. The thought of me bringing pain on my mom was enough to stop me, and of course it wasn’t really that easy. I relapsed and craved and struggled but in the end I came out on top. I thought that was it but what I didn’t realize was depression is a life long illness and while I had almost made it 1 year self harm clean I started to slip into the worst depression of my life and one night I wrote everyone a cared about suicide notes. I decided to swallow pills, but I guess it wasn’t enough because I woke up the next morning. For the next 2 weeks I was drowsy but alive so I never told anyone about that night. Now looking back a year later and almost 2 years clean of self harm, I still feel my depression and anxiety all the time but I am so unbelievably proud to say I am alive. I am living and there is so much to my story but at the end of the day something has kept me on this earth so whatever it is I’m taking it as my second chance.
TW: toxic childhood, childhood trauma, depression, and abuse
I awoke to the sound of shattering glass and an angry, yet terrifying scream. Quickly, I jumped out of bed and blindly ran towards the light pouring out from the cracks on the door. “Stop!” I screamed. As I pulled my dad off of my mom. I was now standing witness to a scene, a nightmare I had dreamt of too often. There stood my dad, holding his hand in a threatening grip. “Go back to bed,” he said sternly. Did he think I was an idiot? Did he think I was some ignorant child? I could see shards of broken glass in the other room, and I quickly inspected my mom from head to toe. You can only imagine my surprise when I found myself gazing at a scared and helpless little girl who stared accusingly back at me in the mirror. I closed my eyes and woke up in my own bed, then quickly ran over to the mirror. Staring back was a mature girl with a tear-stained face and red puffy eyes. This was me. As a child, I grew up in a household where fear ran deep. My dad, the man whose lap I laid on as a baby, promised me the world but instead taught me the true meaning of temptation and hate. For years I watched as he abused my mom and brother both physically and mentally and, though I love him, soon discovered that my trust in him was gradually slipping away. He frequently made my mom a promise of change and repentance, insisting that all he needed was a second chance. The first time my mom stayed, she thought she was doing what was best for Luke and me. A day would barely pass before the sound of forceful strike and gut-wrenching cries echoed throughout the house once more. Most days began to drift together as if it was a constant cycle. In the morning, my mom would drop us off at school while my dad continued to sleep in “his room”. Some days I dreaded returning home at the end of the day because I knew all too well what the evening would hold. When we returned home, sometimes the front door would be unlocked, so we could walk up and get in. “Hello, how was your day?” he’d call from somewhere in the house. “Come here and give me a hug, tell me about your day.”
story of depression, suicidal thoughts, and manipulation (TW)
When I was in the eighth grade, a lot of things happened. I changed a lot more than I’d like to admit. At the age of thirteen, I didn’t have a lot of friends. All the people I associated with were just my classmates. The “friend” I did have took advantage of my family and I a lot, but I didn’t know that then. Anyways, at the age of thirteen, I didn’t know who I was, I was just living day by day. I was in love with my first boyfriend, and I thought he was going to be my forever. I made a joke one day to a “friend” and said I thought about breaking up with him and she went and told him. To avoid the embarrassment of a boy getting broken up with by a girl, he broke up with me instead. It was just a joke, honestly, but to him it wasn’t. Him and said “friend” ended up close. This is what I remember starting it all. At the age of thirteen, I told my mom I didn’t want to be alive anymore. What was her response? “You better get your act together or I am going to send you off!” At the age of thirteen, that is not what I wanted to hear. I wanted comfort. I wanted love. I wanted empathy. You may be reading this thinking, “you were literally thirteen, you didn’t know what love was. It was literally a little break up.” And you are so right. The sad thing is, I didn’t know what love was. I didn’t receive what I was craving. Everyone interprets love differently. I didn’t know that back then, but I know that now. I know my mom loved and still does love me, but she never showed it in the way I needed it. Especially by telling me she’d “send me off”. That made me feel like I wasn’t worth fighting for. That made me hide every single negative emotion I ever had. In high school, I always thought I was “dramatic”. I was always told it was just a part of becoming an adult. The reckless voices running through my head telling me I’d never be good enough. I wasn’t good enough to receive love then, why in the future? No one knew who I truly was. I could never be myself around anyone. No one heard the silent screams I cried at night. They saw the puffy eyes, but they never meant anything. Anytime I showed emotions, I was told to get over it and that people have it worse than me. I know they do. I know they did. I never once said they didn’t, but I was always silently crying for love, empathy, support, etc. I thought therapy was for people who were way worse than me. Worse than someone who self-harmed, attempted suicide in their bedroom many of nights, but stopped because they thought of their family and what it would do to them. Worse than someone who would look up ways to end their life for only the hotline for suicide to come up. I just needed to get over it because it was just a part of growing up. As time went on and I graduated high school, my thoughts got worse. I manipulated myself into horrible thoughts every chance I could get. I started to realize a lot of things in life and about people around me. I lost a lot of boyfriends, but I started losing my best friends. I felt like everyone was turning on me because I’m unlovable or that is what I’ve learned so far. In my next chapter of life, I met someone amazing. Her name is “P”. P was someone I waited for my whole life. P made it seem like the world spun in her hands. P’s family was amazing. They welcomed me into their home like I had been there all along. But I forgot. I am unlovable. P began putting things before me. P’s family began turning on me. P’s family would begin manipulating P into thinking I am unlovable. I knew I was, but I hoped that wasn’t the case with P. I wanted to be with P so bad. I’d promised myself I’d do whatever it would take to be with P. I went from seeing P every day to barely seeing her, but I was unlovable, so I understood. P began to get very abusive towards me, but I loved P. I loved P so much, I stayed even when I shouldn’t have. I stayed when there was cheating. I stayed when there was abuse. I stayed when I was told I was a piece of s*!+. I reached out to people who I thought took me in as their own just for them to tell me, “Leave him”. I was always the bad person, but to their advantage, I never told them the truth about P. I thought it was just part of growing up. P had no clue what all I thought at night and how bad I didn’t want to be alive and honestly, I didn’t care either because I just wanted to make P happy, even if that meant I was miserable. But then I realized how miserable I was. I’d cry at night so hard I didn’t even know when I’d take my next breath. I’d cry so hard. At this point, I didn’t want to die. I just wanted the pain to end. As my next chapter begins, I realized a lot. I realized wanting to not be alive every single day was not okay. I realized crying because God did bless you with another day, wasn’t okay. I broke down and saw a therapist for myself. If you have gotten to this point in the story, I want to stop to say, there is no “normal”. If you ever are wanting to feel “normal”, then you are never going to get there. Everyone is different. Everyone has something that may be so small to someone else, but so big to you. This chapter in my life saved my life. I was diagnosed with severe anxiety, severe depression, and a mood disorder. I was put on medicine for all my symptoms. Taking that leap of faith on myself is the reason I am here telling this story. P is still in my life at this point. P didn’t know I was going to therapy. She believed I should just get over it as well. One day, P found out where I was. And it isn’t going to be the reaction you’d thing because I was dreading it too. Ever since the day P found out I was going to receive help, things flipped upside down. P and I sat all night long and talked. She let me spill everything I thought out with no judgment whatsoever. She cried and apologized all night long. She blamed everything on her, but it wasn’t just her. Unfortunately, I felt unloved way before her, but now, not after her. P’s family never got better, but P started taking up for me. P finally saw the things I did and knew the lies her family was putting into her head. P saw that he was getting seconds from his family. P saw how much favoritism there was. Therefore, it was my turn to be there for P. P started therapy and fortunately, I knew what he needed support wise. As for my family, I still show no emotion. I don’t even know if they know I’ve been in therapy, seen a psychiatrist, and almost been “sent off” by a licensed therapist. Maybe my mom would have been proud, I don’t know. But I never want her to find out. I know if she knew this story was about the person typing this, she’d never be able to forgive herself. So, I do still hide my emotions, but I’ve learned how to cope with them as well. There is a lot more I could tell and probably make it make more sense, but I try not to trigger as much as I can. Please, take your mental health seriously. You might think, “it’ll never get better”. Honestly, I can’t tell you it will. I can only tell you that you learn to cope. You learn there is more to life. I wish I could speak to whoever was reading this and tell you it is going to be okay. It will. I know you are rolling your eyes while reading this, but it will be okay. You aren’t just dramatic. You are lovable. You deserve a life that is worth wanting to wake up in the morning, even if it is only to go back to sleep. Sometimes getting up from bed is the only thing we can do on difficult days and that is okay. If all you did was survive another day, that’s okay. Whoever is reading this, I am so proud of you. And if you don’t feel like you have a reason, just know, you are the reason I am writing this story. You matter to me.
Story of Religion, Manipulation, Depression, Substance Use, Domestic Abuse, Emotional Abuse, Psychological Abuse (TW)
I never wanted to be a part of a life that was founded on sin, confusion, stress, pride, and oppression. This man expected a woman to be his God. he tried to justify his laziness to not work. Him and his family tried to justify the emotional and psychological abuse that they used through manipulation, intimidation, control, and threats. I looked back and was fooled into believing lies. The church was always there to tell the truth. This is the evilest situation I’ve ever experienced. A man and his family trying to justify deception, idols, and abuse. Another reservation I had was the fact that I did not have kids and I gave myself years to prepare myself for somebody that deserved me. Him and his family did not deserve me. They are driven by arrogance, confusion, stress, early death, and stupidity. They think that they are this and that and I look at them and see misery, depression, and chaos. I’m so grateful that I know God, even when it’s pathetic that I’m around people that claim to know God that are 5 to 45 years older than me that know nothing of God’s blessings and do not have regard for anybody else’s feelings or life except theirs. They were never going to convince me of their beliefs that were not biblically based. The whole relationship was founded on self-centered wills, pressure to achieve unrealistic extreme demands that would not be healthy for any human. I am so glad that I saw it early. I did what God wanted me to do, not what you wanted me to do and in your evil mind that makes me a person who is not a Christian. You do not even know what a Christian is. I had to fight against you, your abuse, your demons, your deception, and your sexual and demonic idols. I saw straight through them using their morals and values to try and justify sin and evil. I realized that they were experts at emotional and psychological abuse that they would further use to lie and put it on somebody else, while you never come clean in your role of starting the whole catastrophe. I realized that they had a covenant with demons to keep somebody’s death alive by tormenting my life in a perverted, demonic, and disgusting way. I knew I did not owe anybody’s past anything. I was never going to allow them to feed me lies and take away God’s best out of my life. I know God created me to live in my memory only. I am me and I do not owe anybody’s past anything! They were so blind by their selfish ambitions and believed lie after lie. They did everything they could do to destroy and discredit everything that God wanted built. They were hypocrites, trying to give all this advice about a blended family when you do not have one yourself. I never promised him I would engage in his mom and sister’s homosexual idols of pictures and beds in my relationship. He admitted to me that he would never date somebody with kids, you are an evil hypocrite, you have kids, you are pursuing women that you do not deserve, you want somebody to have your nasty baggage but you’re not willing to have somebody else’s, you’re a hypocrite I realized they were in this fantasy world of dating for years and then getting married. That does not work for this man. He is the kind that needs to go ahead and get married because he is too sexual! Thinking he’s going to stay from sex for years and then marry, you’re fooling yourself! I thought that we would be on a healthy plan of understanding and help from the church to plan a holy relationship and wedding. NO! Instead what happened was me being lied to and cohered into deception and manipulation being pregnant, being abused and deceived into a birth that with the correct information could have avoided my baby being born out of wedlock without God’s blessings on a date that is directly connected to his nasty disgusting perverted past, me and my baby being attacked by demons and having a certificate with a date on it that was founded on abuse, lies and the idolatry of a dead person I want absolutely nothing to do with! I was grateful for a counselor that listened to me. She understood what I was experiencing. She understood that all this abuse was going on for years, before and after the evil deception at the hospital. I realized the elaborate hoax to try and justify evil! I realized that they were experts at emotional and psychological abuse. I realize that they try to justify their abuse with lies and intimidation. He nor his family takes responsibility and apologizes. It was never about just your kids! It was about God, what we agreed to, communication, honesty and holiness, not your parents and sister’s opinions and nasty demonic covenants I never in my life thought I would meet people climaxing to be Christians and justifying the abuse and oppression of a woman to the point of a deceitfully evil birth out of wedlock and trying to use everything in their power to justify a baby being born out of wedlock and boasting and being prideful of their evil ways! My daughter will have the opportunities that I never did, I will be by her side to make sure somebody’s past or family does not take advantage of her or make her feel guilty for not wanting to be around them or making her be cohered into lies, deceit and manipulation They are so full of pride, lies and arrogance. They have a puny life in a small town where they engage in a ridiculous number of sports. These sports are not putting food on our table. Your priorities are a disaster! If you’re using sports to put food on the table, fine, but you can limit that so you can provide for your family! You’re blind to your ambitions, be a real man, go get an education, go, and do useful research to provide for a family instead of being lazy, have a pity party, complain every day, and tear the people down around you! Nobody in their right mind would have lived the way his family tried to force me. It was extremely bizarre and disgusting. I have not received an apology after years of all this abuse. I was grateful for a counselor that listened to me. She understood what I was experiencing. She understood that all this abuse was going on for years, before and after the evil deception at the hospital. I know that I can only depend on God and the people that will listen and hear what has really gone on. I know that my prayers and my own will have been protecting me. I cannot believe that I met such disgusting and evil people. What I’ve learned and am warning anybody who reads this: Do not allow somebody’s mother to control your household through their thoughts and feelings that are founded in lies, deception, pride, arrogance, selfishness, idolatry and confusion. Do not marry into a family who has tried to justify manipulation, blaming, shaming, name-calling, insults, put-downs, infantilization, trivializing, triangulation, sabotage, gaslighting, scapegoating, blame-shifting, projection, ranking and comparing, threatening harm. Do not date a man who threatens to call the police and put you in jail to try and control you. Do not date a man who purposely creates arguments and confrontations for evidence against you. Do not date a man who refused to run to the church but runs to their family. Do not date a man who tries to justify lies and deception Do not date a man who tries to justify not working. Do not date a man who tries and justifies living off of benefits instead of money he has actually earned. Do not date a man who tries and justifies not marrying you when you are pregnant with his child. Do not date a man who refuses to meet your family but expects you to be close to him. Do not date a man who does not take your words and feelings seriously. Do not date a man who tries to justify not earning a livable and realistic wage. Do not date a man who tries to justify an unhealthy stressful lifestyle. Do not date a man who tries to justify emotional abuse. Do not date a man who tries to justify giving up on life, responsibilities, and God’s principals just because he experienced a life crisis. Do not date a man who tries to justify putting unrealistic extreme demands on you daily. Do not date a man who talks down to you and over you. Do not date a man who expects you to be responsible for them financially when they refuse to find other methods of making money. Do not date a man who expects you to be responsible for them emotionally. Do not date a man who expects you to be responsible for them morally. Do not date a man who tries to justify putting the responsibility of their past on you. Do not date a man or marry into a family who tries to justify you being involved with their past in unwanted and disgusting ways. Do not date a man who or marry into a family that tries to justify forcing beliefs and lifestyles on you that you are uncomfortable with and that are not biblically based. Do not date a man who cares only about pride, sex, money and pleasing their family. Do not date a man who actively used marijuana 20 to 40 times a day. Do not date a man that refused to surrender to the holy spirit. Do not get involved with a family who loves their idols, sin and abuse more than they care an inkling about you and your life. Never trust a man to be an equal partner financially, emotionally, morally, and with parental roles who is blinded by their miserable life of stress. Do not be close to people whose lives, emotions and wills are not aligned with God and yours. Do not allow a man to convince you that he will treat you right when his actions are just the opposite. Do not allow somebody’s mother to talk down to you. Do not allow somebody’s mother to call you names. Do not date a man and marry into a family who does not view and see you how God does. Do not date a man and be in his family that refuses to listen to and line up with the bible and pastor’s advice. Do not date a man and marry into a family that does not want God’s best in your life. Stay away from people who refuse to apologize and continue in abuse, lies and deception. Do not allow a family to try and justify deception, betrayal, sin and a toxic lifestyle that tries to be forced on you. I never agreed to serve their demonic idols. I never agreed to live a life of sin. I never agreed to live a life of confusion. I wanted nothing to do with him, his mom and sister’s homosexual views and perverted ways! I felt like these people gave me aids spiritually. They are and were experts at trying to justify deception, manipulation, sin, confusion, control and betrayal. They made elaborate plans to try their best to destroy me and my daughter with their lies and idols. They tried to destroy me with their pride, arrogance, and extreme demands. They tried their hardest to put me below where God has assigned me. I know I won’t ever be apologized to for their evil. They are so blinded by their lies; they do not realize God’s ways. They all can find the truth and get answers, but they love their sin and evil more. I do not have a relationship with his mom because of her verbal and psychological abuse. They have never fooled me with their lies and deception. They can try and continue being emotionally and psychologically abusive believing and living lies, I will never have any part of it! This truly is the evilest situation I’ve ever experienced. The amount of deception, pride, arrogance, and abuse is unbelievable! He laughs and tries to justify his insanity because he is too lazy to get up and work. You’re not killing me and sending me to an early grave because you believe and live lies. I want no part of you and your families’ idols of pride, stupidity, confusion, dumbness, stubbornness, and sin! His priorities were always off. His priorities were busyness, sports, laziness and complaining. His priorities should have been church groups, relationship building, a healthy plan for everybody, communication, and God’s ways. I do not admire or want anything to do with his family. Their lifestyle represents lies, foolishness, and misery. Don’t ever let somebody’s mother control and manipulate your life. All his mother taught was sin, lies and homosexuality. She wasn’t teaching me her destruction! She needed to get and stay away from me! They represent a hamster wheel of lies, stupidity, misery, depression, unhappiness, and early death. You can die a sad, miserable life and neglect your health, but I’m not! Be involved in all these sports because of your pride and lies, who cares! You and your family are toxic, so rightfully I stay far away! I’m not neglecting you; you refuse to accept the truth; you aren’t bringing all that sin and confusion in my life. I rightfully will forever protect my daughter and myself from you and your family! Your extraneous demands aren’t taking my life early! I will no longer ever again be raped, psychologically or physically. You will never again threaten me! You will never again force me into sex! You will never again deceive me! You will never again abuse me emotionally, spiritually, and psychologically! You will never again have all your family’s demonic opinions and lifestyle disrupt this family! You will never again allow unhealthy, evil, selfish, perverted people to dictate our relationship and union with God! I pray for protection from them! They did everything in their power to destroy what God intended! No more! I will never again have my keys taken away from me! I will never again have my phone taken away from me! You will never abuse me or my daughter ever again! You will never again intimidate and manipulate me inside or outside of church. You will never again talk down to me! You and your family are scheming evil people that elaborately put the blame on somebody else, taking yourself out of responsibility, well you do not full me! I’ve learned to protect my daughter and I spiritually and naturally. I’ve learned to protect me and my daughter legally. This was never about the boys, it was always about God, healthy relationships, truth, honesty, communication, marriage, and spiritual protections. The boys were no more important than God, healthy relationships, truth, honesty, communication, marriage, and spiritual protections. I’ve learned to get far away and free from you and your family’s demonic idol of the past. Want nothing to do with her! I respect your past, not worship it! Don't look at it! Not be in the same house with it! Don't talk about it! Nothing but respect, that is your and God’s responsibility, the only responsibility I have is to acknowledge and live in truth to God and his principals, not you and your family preferences! I serve God, not you, your family and you all’s nasty evil idols from the past! My daughter and I will forever and always live in my memories only! Nobody is getting me twisted with somebody’s nasty past, nobody! Me and my daughter were always separate from your past, don’t drag your mess into our life! I was and will never be living for demons. I was and will never be a part of worship and missing, no! Accept that the past is the past, move on and stay moved on. I don't owe your past anything and neither does my daughter!
TW: Suicidal Thoughts, Medication Over-Use, and Abandonment
Hi, this is my story of my 'Happy' Life. It all started when I was a little baby. When my parents brought me home from the hospital, they fought on the first night, and they fought every day since then. Three years later, they had my brother, NB. I do love that kid, even though he is a little brat that gets on my nerves 24/7. When I was 4, my parents got divorced. I don't really remember most of my childhood, but I am making a good living. Since 2014, my mom married J.R., and now I am related to horrible people I don't like. Meanwhile, my dad sits at home with his mom all day, depressed. He quit his job just last year after he fell through a window, and we almost lost him. I don't know what I would do without my dad in my life, though. Lately, I have been realizing all kinds of stuff, like the fact that I almost lost my dad. Throughout these years, I have been feeling good, but during the summer when I had time to catch my breath and think for a minute, I realized a lot. So now that you're up to date, let us talk about how each day is for me, starting with today because I am going to write a little each day to tell you how my life is going.
Today is Wednesday. I went to class like normal. We had a substitute. Then I went to my next class. It was just a regular day. Now it is Tuesday. It's an A-day, so that means I have science, and I am done with my work in science, which is why I am able to write this. These children in my class are driving me crazy.
In a few minutes, there will be a prep up or something, but I don't really like those things. Oh, also, C.P. left me today. She went to the doctor. It's okay. I am scared she is going to see me as I see myself. I feel like that's how all my friends are going to see me, and then they will leave me. It makes me upset to think about it, and the thing is that I know it is true that they are going to leave me. It sucks. I hate my life because everyone leaves me. I act like I am okay, but I am not, and I just want to die. The reason I want to die is that I am tired of my life. I am a good kid. I do my school work, I listen to my teacher and mother. I am a good kid, but I never get treated like it. Like when my class would not shut up, so we got homework, even though I did the right thing. I do my chores, I listen to my parents most of the time, but I get treated like crap. I just don't understand it, okay? I just don't.
The thing is that I want to die because of my life. Sorry I haven't been able to write. The only reason I can now is that I just took a test, and I finished it. Did I fail it? Yes, I did. Do I care? No, no, I don't. And if you're wondering about the last time we talked, I will tell you what has happened since then. Well, someone told Ms. M, and I had thousands of cops and people show up at my house because of it. Also, I have to start going to therapy. I am also going to have to be put on medicine. I think it's going to be called something like 'Happy Pills' because that's what one of my friends is on for a similar thing. The thing that got me most upset was when my mom shipped me off to my dad's for the weekend so that she could cool off. I felt horrible all weekend, and I barely talked during that weekend. For now, though, I am better, and I don't know what's next in my life.
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